8 Signs You're Getting Old and (Forcefully, against your will) Growing Up:

1) You're now a college graduate.

~Like...what?! Nobody ever really thinks past college.  What are you supposed to do now?

~Isn't this where marriage, kids, all that good junk comes in? No?.... Okay.  Good to know.

2) You live on your own in the middle of Dallas.

~Oh I have to lock my door every time I come in and out?
~Wait...what... You're telling me I have to pay more if I leave my air conditioning on? I live in Texas, the hottest place on earth! Guess I'll just sweat in my sleep. No big deal. 

3) You have a big girl job.

~Big girl job: where one must be on time every day, cannot wear anything but professional clothing, must work 8-5 and must actually drive (in traffic) to work each morning.  

** BUT YOU'RE MAKING THOSE BIG BUCKS!** (to help you out with #2)

4) You have your own (and pay for your own) health/life insurance.

~"Who would you like to be your first beneficiary? You know, the person that gets everything if you die."... Listen here you morbid freaks,  I'm not going anytime soon so get off my back. Rude. 

~P.S. Your health insurance just comes right out of your paycheck. Blessings. (cough not cough)

5) Two words: Retirement Fund.

~Let's please take a moment to look how the economy is doing..........Yeah. Retirement is not happening for another 198 years for me so why must you insist taking this out of my paycheck too?

6) Taxes.

~Enough said.

7) Your friends are having babies...on purpose!

~No. No. No. NO.  Stop that! Inappropriate.

8) You don't have a room at home anymore.

~Oh you want to go home to visit your parents? Great. Hope you like sleeping on the couch.

Growing up is no joke, y'all.  If you still have time, SOAK UP NOT HAVING RESPONSIBILITY.  If you're out in the real world like me, here's a high five.  Time to put our big girl britches on and show the world what we're about. (Having fun, that's what we're about.) 

Mrs. Beckett ____________?

Although I am single {and content with it thank you very much} this post is going out to my future husband.  So, mystery man, this one's for you!

 {Like how I automatically assume he's going to read this? Yeah. He will.}

1. Leader of the Pack.

I love Jesus. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, you better love Jesus too.  I fully expect you to be the leader in the house.  {I say "expect" because that's what it says in the Bible.} I don't ever want our children to question where we stand in our faith and I want our house to be filled with the joy of the Lord. 

2. Man Cave.

So here's the deal.  I hate school. How is that relevant? Well....since I am forced to sit in class all day, I've been working on the blueprints of your man cave for about 3 years now. It's gonna be sick.  Hint: Huge flat screen TV, leather couches, pool table, fridge for beer, etc... I want all your friends to be jealous and you to have bragging rights forever. Sound good? Thought so.

3. I love sports.

You're a guy therefore you love sports.  Well guess what, so do I! I know right?! Go figure! I know you probably wanna watch the games with the guys {which is cool} but every once in a while I'd like to watch some football with you.  Plus I'm gonna go ahead and assume that I'm cuter than the boys so it's a win for you! 

4. Ready.....Fight.

I am stubborn. I am insensitive like 80% of the time. I don't like being told what to do and take crap from NOONE. {Man, I'm lovely aren't I?}  

Anyways.... I'm going to need you to be a man and protect me. All these wonderful qualities get me in some sticky situations more often than not.

Oh, did I mention that I kind of can't control my mouth when people are rude? No? Oh..well I can't.  Please,please, please be prepared for that.  If you wanna start hitting the gym and work on those muscles, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea.  I've come realllll close to starting a lot of fights. Oooops :)

5. Baked Goods.

If you have diabetes, we're going to have a problem.  I like to bake.....a lot. Guess who gets to be my #1 taste tester? YOU! Yayyyyy! Hope you're ready to eat ungodly amounts of baked goods.  Like, this is not a drill.

6. Bro Time.

I love bro-love.  I want you to hang out with your friends, a lot.  Every guy needs to be able to chill with his bros and just be a "dude".  I don't ever want hangin' out with your friends to be considered freedom.  I want it to be a regular thing. Plus, I have friends too.  You get bro time and I get girl time... See how that works?! 

7. I Don't Do Weird.

Just so everything is understood from Day 1, I don't do weird food.  I'll support you in everything you do but if you want to start getting all adventurous with food, I'm out.  {Not divorce, just out of the restaurant.}  You can eat all the weird food you like but if the place doesn't have chicken strips or something I feel safe eating, there's gonna be a problem! I promise I'm not high maintenance. 

{If you're getting stressed over this one, go back to #2, take a deep breath and relax.}

8. Spiders.

These 8 legged freaks can send me on the chair screaming like a two year old in .03 seconds. I can't do it.  Physically, mentally, emotionally.... no. You're going to have to kill all of them. Please :)

9. Drop It Like It's Hot.

Please, for the love of God, know how to two-step.  I'm Texan born and raised and in order for this whole thing to work out, we're going to have to go dancin' every once in a while.  Also, if you happen to be a club lover and can drop it low, I'm not mad about it.

10. God Bless Texas. 

I love Texas more than I love sleep. {and I love sleep more than most people love their children.}  If by some random act of God you're not Texan, please just learn to love it like I do.  Ideally, I would like us to be known as the "Texas" couple for how much we love this state.  No liberal actions will ever be taken in our house.  Ever. Sorry if that's bossy but it ain't happenin'. GOD BLESSED TEXAS....not the north.

Plus, if America tanks and Texas secedes, we can rest easy and know our children will be fine.  Praise Jesus for that one! 

I'm excited to see who will actually read this and make it a reality one day.  Maybe I know you, maybe I don't....Either way, love you!

Happy Thursday, y'all!

The Life of Having a Weird Name

Let me just start by introducing myself.  My name is Beckett.  

Now... For most people, you would say "Hi Beckett.  Nice to meet you.  I'm ______."

Guess who runs into all the rest of the people in the world that don't do that.  

ME.

Here's some examples of what I get as a response to my introduction....daily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm sorry, Becca? " ...No.  In 1st grade we learned the difference between the sound an "A" makes as opposed to a "T".

"Hello Meagan, I'm _______." ...Excuse me? Meagan? Really?  Okay I'm just gonna walk away. 

"Beckett?  Is that your first name?" ...Yes.  Most people I know do not introduce themselves by their last name.  Do your friends do that? No? Didn't think so.

"Beckett? What an unusual name. Has anyone ever called you bucket before?" ...No. You're a genius! How did you come up with that so quick.......................Yes. I heard that in like the 1st grade.  Grow up.

"Your name is what? Spell it." ...How about I don't spell it and you just listen when I say it. Deal?

And my all time favorite....

"Beckett is your real name?....Whoa, that sucks." ...No, sir, your sense of manners suck.  Go ask your mom to teach you a lesson or two on how to talk to someone.

Please, for the love of God, if you ever meet someone with an unusual name just suck it up and act like you've heard that name every day since birth.  It's not a fun game to play, especially for us that have to live with it.  

Happy Hump Day.

The Flirtatious Freshman.

Remember being a freshman? Remember the desperation you had for someone to flirt with you? "I look cute today.  My hair is rockin'.  Someone will notice, right?"... Yeah, well you can only hope I guess... I'm currently working Study Hall and I'm seeing this all throw down as I type.  Let me just break it down for you.

Girl #1's Techniques:
-Talk Loud. Homegirl, you're not even supposed to be talking. Shut it before I make you shut it.
-Poof the hair...7 times within the minute. Listen, your hair will hold a tease better if you DON'T TOUCH IT. (I'm a licensed professional so I can say that.)  Wait... you don't have lice do you? Gag. 
-Walk in the door from running an errand and...not sit? Better yet, just stand there. You're getting their attention now! Don't worry... Those chairs are just for looks anyways. Stupid school. What were they thinking?


Girl #2's Approach:
-Don't talk, WHISPER LOUD. It would be 80% less annoying if you just talked. Like, you just sound like you ran a mile and are trying to talk normally.  Need some oxygen?
-Glare at me for looking at you for "exasperating" so loud.  Glare away sweetheart, but remember, If i write your name down...you run miles upon miles.  Good luck with that Miss Priss.
-Turn your music up so the whole room can hear. Child, you're losing your hearing and looking like a fool because we now all know you're listening to Selena Gomez. Cute. That'll get him for sure.


Girl #3's Technique:
-Flail your hands around like you're trying not to talk and would rather sign stuff instead. My roommate is fluent in ASL (american sign language). I know for a fact that that's not how you say Cheeto.  
-Act Dumb. I'm not sure if you're acting anymore.... Please... Stop. 

Instead of having Freshman English 101, they should have Freshman "don't lose your dignity looking like a fool to impress someone". 101  Note to all you freshman out there, you'll look back one day and call yourself an idiot.  Might as well try to save yourself now. 

Happy Hump Day. {ha. never gets old}