Remember being a freshman? Remember the desperation you had for someone to flirt with you? "I look cute today. My hair is rockin'. Someone will notice, right?"... Yeah, well you can only hope I guess... I'm currently working Study Hall and I'm seeing this all throw down as I type. Let me just break it down for you.
Girl #1's Techniques:
-Talk Loud. Homegirl, you're not even supposed to be talking. Shut it before I make you shut it.
-Poof the hair...7 times within the minute. Listen, your hair will hold a tease better if you DON'T TOUCH IT. (I'm a licensed professional so I can say that.) Wait... you don't have lice do you? Gag.
-Walk in the door from running an errand and...not sit? Better yet, just stand there. You're getting their attention now! Don't worry... Those chairs are just for looks anyways. Stupid school. What were they thinking?
Girl #2's Approach:
-Don't talk, WHISPER LOUD. It would be 80% less annoying if you just talked. Like, you just sound like you ran a mile and are trying to talk normally. Need some oxygen?
-Glare at me for looking at you for "exasperating" so loud. Glare away sweetheart, but remember, If i write your name down...you run miles upon miles. Good luck with that Miss Priss.
-Turn your music up so the whole room can hear. Child, you're losing your hearing and looking like a fool because we now all know you're listening to Selena Gomez. Cute. That'll get him for sure.
Girl #3's Technique:
-Flail your hands around like you're trying not to talk and would rather sign stuff instead. My roommate is fluent in ASL (american sign language). I know for a fact that that's not how you say Cheeto.
-Act Dumb. I'm not sure if you're acting anymore.... Please... Stop.
Instead of having Freshman English 101, they should have Freshman "don't lose your dignity looking like a fool to impress someone". 101 Note to all you freshman out there, you'll look back one day and call yourself an idiot. Might as well try to save yourself now.
Happy Hump Day. {ha. never gets old}
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